This is right, that is wrong
How will I decipher what I will prolong?
To ridden all your sins you must repent
Sometimes all my thoughts and feelings I must vent
If the facts are there I need to care
For the fear of death I do not dare
I have these visions or are they dreams
The bugs of death crawl through my seams
I will try running but it will follow
For the escape of fatality I will have to swallow
Sometimes people use rhyming words in their poem that normally do not fit well just because they need those two words to rhyme. But I feel yours flowed really nicely. You should, however, title your poem. A title might help the reader to clarify what you are trying to convey with this poem. The second stanza really made me feel that you were talking about the inevitability of death. I hope that I correctly interpreted your poem!
ReplyDeleteI like your poem. As the person above said, perhaps elaborate on your title to shed a bit more light on the subject. Also, I think the word you want to use is rid/ridded. I especially liked "the bugs of death" nice imagery.
ReplyDelete